Google Glasses: Site for Your Eyes?

PushON | April 5th 2012

This week, Google unveiled its latest jerk forward into the future: Project Glass.

If you haven’t seen it, the video follows a day in the life of our mysterious Google Glasses Wearer, who we see put on his Google Glasses as the video starts. His laptop (Laptop?! Get with the times, Grandad!), sits next to him, useless now, and he’s fully clothed and stretching. Goodness knows what he’s just been doing, so let’s just assume he was on Facebook.

Next, the wearer pours a coffee (did he fall asleep in his clothes then? Are Google targeting drunks? The homeless?) and then has his plans for the day thrust before him. It’s 58 degrees, ten past nine, he’s seeing Jess tonight and he should, erm, go on Google+. That makes the date April 1st.

Wearer then eats a sandwich, and his friend Paul texts him IN HIS EYES asking if he wants to meet up. Curiously, Paul wears glasses, and may therefore suffer vision impairment when he swaps them for his cyberbins. I wish the video followed Paul walking into lamp posts and accidentally posting it on Twitter.

The two agree to meet at a bookshop but, alas, the subway is broken so this Ultimate Wearer has to walk all of three blocks instead! When he arrives at the book shop, Paul still hasn’t turned up (bloody lamp posts!), so the protagonist buys a book about learning the ukulele in a day. A tech-lover with a daft guitar; perfect for a terrible house party!

Wacky Robo-Formby and his buddy then buy coffee from a van, rudely reading reviews right in front of the vendor, before they part ways (note we didn’t see their hands, so we cannot rule out the exchange of narcotics) because it’s now time for the Wearer’s date with Jess! Like all good relationships, as soon as he remembers the date he legs it to the highest point he can find.

Of course it’s a video date! He says “Do you wanna see something cool”, on a date, and then whips out his instrument and strums awkwardly until the screen goes white.

Welcome to the future.